Akirame 2.3 - 愛想笑い(formal smile)
Death of Spring
ShibayanRecords - Fall In The Dark
Aisowarai(formal smile)
- a tentative biography of Nicha Rapheephat (draft 0)
{CONTINUATION}
RECAP: Nicha got so spooked by rural Thailand she became a devout Buddhist. When she returned to Bangkok, her faith was shaken by her classmates’ atheistic nihilism. She had to rethink everything, including the nature of the afterlife, which her mother soon visited. Also, she’s legally Nicha Rapheephat now.
Some classmates from high school
are having a get-together for no reason at all, and they, being the sadistic bastards that they are, invited me.
God knows I’d rather pull my nails out than let them see me like this.
But the joke is on them.
I’ve got the most convenient excuse for not going.
Since my family moved to this land of evil spirits, I have access to the same excuse as Nicha: we're out here in this northern province, far, far away from Bangkok, so we’re not gonna go. Yes, we really can’t go. Stop bothering us.
The Many Deaths of Nicha
#1
Nicha’s not stupid.
Her over-decorated room.
Mrs. Rapheephat’s obsession with religion.
Mr. Rapheephat’s nicotine dependence.
The servants’ gossip.
When all the puzzle pieces were assembled, her room was no longer hers, for she could see the dead baby on the floor.
It crawled like a centipede, rearing its head whenever Mr. Rapheephat showed her affection.
“Those are mine, Nicha.”
The dead baby smiled.
“My parents. My room. My life. But I’ll let you have them all. You will suffer in my stead.”
#2
Smoke still rose from the broken cigarette bud in the ashtray, like an incense stick.
Nothing ever changed in the Northern Province. The mountains were always there if you looked past the grimy concrete buildings.
On Friday evenings, scores of students wearing white and blue traditional clothing walked home along the city’s canal.
Nicha liked Fridays. She thought herself cute in that blue cotton costume. Plus, Friday meant no school for two days.
There was a problem at school. Her name was Fasai. She’s a youth golf champion. Pretty, perfect, and had plenty of friends to help kick the hell out of Nicha and call her retarded.
#3
On Sundays, Mr. Rapheephat liked to invite his subordinates and their family to his house for dinner.
One of them, Mr. Somsak, just so happened to be Fasai’s father.
“I’ve heard what your daughter did at that regional championship. Very Impressive.” Mr. Rapheephat said.
“Thank you, sir. She still has a way to go.” Mr. Somsak said.
“Thank you, sir,” Fasai said.
“I wish Nicha here would learn a thing or two from you. Aren't you in the same class as her? Tell me, what’s she like at school?” Mr. Rapheephat asked.
“Well… She's very reserved, and that makes her a little hard to approach. But don't worry. I introduced her to my friends, and now we're in the same group!” Fasai said.
“That’s good to hear! Get Mr. Somsak more beer, Nicha.”
Nicha walked to the other side of the table to pour Mr. Somsak the beer. As the foam rose to the brim of the glass, Fasai knocked over her glass of grape juice, spilling it all over Nicha.
“Oh! I’m so sorry, Nicha. I’ll clean it up,” Fasai grinned.
“It’s fine. Let Nicha do it,” Mrs. Rapheephat said.
Nicha got a dust cloth from the kitchen drawer and started cleaning the table.
#4
After school, Nicha wandered aimlessly around downtown. She tried to find the beauty that attracted so many tourists to the place, but all she could see was a pathetic little town with uninspired architecture.
“School was horrible again today. I wonder when these bruises will fade,” she muttered as she passed by the remains of an ancient city wall.
“I have to take the good with the bad. The good with the bad…”
“There’s a roof over my head and food in my stomach, so I guess I should be thankful,” as she passed the clock tower.
“But I really shouldn’t expect these people to love me. No matter how much I lie, I’ll never really be their daughter. They’re my employers. I’m just a paid actor playing the role left behind by a dead child.”
She stopped at a Buddhist temple.
“I just…”
She squatted down on the sidewalk and covered her face with her hands.
“I want to go home.”
#5
During a lecture on the short reign of King Taksin, Nicha suddenly remembered the story of how her grandfather came to Thailand on a steamboat.
She turned her head to the classroom’s window.
“Why did Grandpa come to this country in the first place?” she wondered.
“Because now I’m living at the bottom of a goddamn bowl. A bowl made of mountains that I can’t even see because of this lymph-colored smog.”
King Taksin was now fleeing the capital of Ayutthaya, which had been sacked by the Burmese.
Three seats away, towards the back of the class, Fasai was taking a peaceful nap.
“And that asshole won’t stop calling me a retard."
King Taksin was rallying his troops and telling them to smash their rice pots. ‘Tomorrow we eat the food of the city we conquer!’
“Perhaps, I ought to smash my rice pots, too, if I’m going to break through the enemy's line.”
#6
The first time she did it, it was with a kitchen knife.
The second time, it was with a moving car.
The third time, Nicha stood on the roof.
Scores of students hurried to the gymnasium to get a mat for her to land on.
A panicking English teacher ran down the building to the spot right below where Nicha was.
While Nicha was contemplating the commotion below, a large white bird dove right toward her, causing her to lose her balance.
The fat teacher braced himself.
“You’ll be alright! I’ll catch you!” he yelled.
Nicha fell and dropkicked him right on his giant belly.
She got away with a broken leg.
The teacher was miraculously unscathed.
When questioned by teachers, Nicha put on the greatest tragic victim act of her life and got Fasai suspended for a month.
#7
After the fall, Fasai and her goonies no longer messed with Nicha.
Mrs. Rapheephat, thinking Nicha had gone mad, had a monk come to exorcize the evil spirit inside Nicha every week.
Mr. Rapheephat didn’t know what to do, so he pretended the incident never happened.
And with that, Nicha had successfully dug a moat between her and everyone else.
Inside that moat, protected by the walls of her castle, Nicha would find her way back to Bangkok.
Author’s note
Huh, I have a feeling that what I’m writing is similar to a crappy soap opera.
But I don’t even watch tv, so I wouldn’t know.
Ah, well.
That’s okay, I guess.